I am me. All of me. I am beautiful. I am pure. I am innocent. I am expressive. I am dependable. I am happy. I am responsible. I am loved. I am not what you make of me. I am what I make of myself.
Why should I depend on you? Why should I depend on what you think of me? I only depend on the impression of 4 people in my life and you are not one of them. These four have seen me since birth, reveled in my highs, grovelled in my lows. Not you. So, I don’t care what you think of me.
I am frankly fed up of hoping and praying that I will be loved by all. Disappointment. That’s what is in store for me with this expectation. I don’t NEED to be loved by all. I have to love myself. I feel stupid, worthless, naked and vulnerable now thinking of the shattering mindset that I have been prisoner to all these years, a mindset of dependence, a mindset of slavery. Why do I need to please everyone? There is only one person I need to please and that is ME. As long as this doesn’t HARM anyone else this is the only pledge I make to myself; Make me HAPPY. If saying a NO to someone makes me HAPPY I’ll say it rather than grudging perform a task to please. Pleasing others SHOULDNOT make me happy. It’s an addiction I need to stop, right now.
I need to voice what’s in my head. Be blunt. Say it as it is. The burden, the weight, the pent up emotions will flow away. “I don’t want to go because frankly I’m lazy and I just want to chill.” – that’s it , simple, clear, honest. Why bother if I will be judged based on the comment. I’m being honest for Christ sake!!!! If you still want to judge me , well, then so be it, it’s your time well spent ( eyes roll). Enough with the DIPLOMACY. It’s getting me nowhere, in fact only leading me to emotional -volcano -town.
So, today is the day I find love, I fall in love, I rise in love. I am in love with myself. I will always love myself . The little child, the weeping heart will be comforted for it always has me- ever dependable, ever present, ever flowing with love. I am wonderful. I am beautiful. I am loved.
